Your view of the world influences how you experience everything that happens to you. We each look at life through our own unique lens. Our view of the world can be negative or positive, encouraging or discouraging, rigid or flexible, competitive or cooperative. The good news is that once we become aware of how we think, we can choose new thoughts and feelings.
Here are three ways to help you change your perspective:
Seeing Possibilities and Solutions – Instead of parenting out of fear and worry, try changing your attitude to one of possibilities and solutions. We can learn to switch our attention from the negative to the positive and then work to solve problems. Our children need to feel that we are on their side, and that we want them to be successful. We want to send them a message that we are willing to work with them, not against them. So the next time your child comes to you and your alarm bells go off, try seeing the possibilities and solutions that work for both of you.
Choosing Constructive Attitudes – We can choose attitudes that improve our relationships, such as: “It’s okay to make mistakes”; “I love you, but I don’t like what happened”, or “Let’s talk it over and see if we can work it out.” This doesn’t mean we ignore the problems, but we can help the situation when we open up our heart and show care and concern. This type of approach is encouraging and is essential for effective parenting.
Use Humour – Focusing on the funny side of life helps us from feeling discouraged. Humour reminds us to enjoy the present moment and to not take ourselves too seriously. It’s wonderful for children to see their parents having fun. It’s also a great thing to model. Let your child see how you handle making a mistake. So the next time you forget that important item from the grocery store, will they see you berating yourself or will they see you laugh it off and change the menu. You decide!
“By choosing how you interpret events, you can find constructive ways to look at yourself, your life, and your relationships.” (Dinkmeyer & McKay)
By: Kylah Harrington
Credit – Don Dinkmeyer, Gary D. McKay, Don Dinkmeyer, Jr., James S. Dinkmeyer, and Joyce L. McKay, The Effective Parent. (United States: AGS American Guidance Service Inc. 1987).