“My child complains about being bored and expects me to drop everything to entertain him!”

How do we respond to such a common statement? Often parents feel the need to fix every problem their children have, including boredom. Children spend many hours a day in front of screens and are used to being instantly entertained. The problem with screens is that they diminish creativity. When the appeal of these entertainment devices wanes, children look to parents to instantly meet their need. Often times, parents may try offer suggestions, but find nothing they do is good enough.

Here are some ways to respond to boredom:

• Ask your child what idea they have to solve their problem. If they say, ‘I don’t know’, say that you have faith in them to work it out.
• Listen empathetically and validate their feelings without giving solutions. Something like, “I understand, I sometimes feel bored myself.” If your child continues on about it, continue to listen and acknowledge with noncommittal sounds like ‘Umm, Uh-huh.” Eventually your child will get so bored with you and your unwillingness to handle his problem that he’ll find something else to do.
• Say, “That’s good. Maybe your mind and body need a quiet break. Would you like to learn how to meditate?” She will likely turn and run the other way. If they take you up on your offer, go for it. It would be a great strategy for them to learn.
• Set limits for screen time so that your kids are used to being creative and resourceful rather than passive and dependent on for entertainment.
• Let your child know you’d happily show them how to do laundry or cook a meal as a solution to boredom.
• Children can learn it’s up to them to determine how they will spend their free time. They can learn self-reliance in this area, and that boredom can lead to creativity and something new and exciting.

Lastly, encourage independence. Allowing children to decide for themselves is very challenging to parents who are overprotective. Sometimes parents find their worth through being of service to their child, which blocks them from being independent. To foster independence we must step back, give the child space and let them make their own decisions.

From: Nelsen, Jane, Lynn Lott and H. Stephen Glenn. Positive Discipline A-Z. Third Edition. Unites States: Three Rivers Press, 2007. Print.